Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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