Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
