next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
