girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize