i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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