I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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