my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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