1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
