Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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