A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
