He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
