Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
