It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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