Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
