Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
