Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
