I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize