So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
