He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
