she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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