Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
They have beer where we have blood.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize