just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
