I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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