I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
