I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
His nipple licking is glorious
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