He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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