If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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