I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
