I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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