White coat. Heels.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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