So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My vagina just recognized that song.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
True college students do jello shots in the library
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
