You're completely useless in the revolution.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
