my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
