His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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