and next time when you feel me up, do it right
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
