There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
