but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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