i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize