I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize