he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
