I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
