Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
