I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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