Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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