it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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