i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
