I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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