pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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