my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
