i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
