Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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