My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize