I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
