Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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