do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
