How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
