I heard we made out
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
only if we run a train.
done.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Enjoy the penises
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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