ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
