jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
